Waiting on God is Not Wasting Time – Episode #776

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Waiting on God is Not Wasting Time
Episode #776
10/17/2021

With Martha Kilpatrick and hosted by John Enslow
With special guest LaDonna Spears, Sue Casey, Kyle Smith

This the continuation of a series of podcasts started in Episode #771
In my experience if I get sidetracked from waiting on God, the Lord is hurt and that just kills me.

LaDonna:
So earlier we were talking about waiting on the Lord and that being the key to relationship and hearing the Lord and so I just said I like checking my boxes to make sure I’ve done it right and can feel good about it. But the real question is, “When I’m spending time devoted to just focusing on the Lord does that mean I can’t read an anointed book or listen to a message?”

Martha:
That’s a law. I’m going to say no to the law.

LaDonna:
Ok, so I can…

Martha:
But in my experience if I get sidetracked the Lord is hurt and that just kills me.

LaDonna:
So attention is what He’s really looking for.

Martha:
He wants focus and attention. He wants us to waste our lives on Him. He knows that to wait attacks our humanity and our busyness. It’s precious to Him.

LaDonna:
Flesh.

Martha:
Flesh, yes; my own flesh.

LaDonna:
Flesh be done.

Martha:
Right. I have mine, too, honey.

John, when he learned it, he taught me to value it. It’s a waste of your precious time. What is precious to me is my time. And the fact that I’ve been sick for so long to me is a time crisis. I have lost part of my life and yet He has His own purpose for laying me down in green pastures. And it’s not visible.

Yes. Is that what you are saying?

Sue:
Pouring into you living water that you’re pouring out.

Martha:
Ok, Sue. That explains it because it’s a hidden thing that transpires and I can’t pretend I’ve done it if I go cleaning out the refrigerator. I can’t have a day where I’m doing things. It loses the impact. It’s just another day where I’m working. It’s like the two things that are mentioned by Art Katz. He waited two days before He went to see Lazarus; waited until he died. He wouldn’t move apart from God’s movement.

Kyle:
I don’t know if this…From my experience because I would tell John there was a certain situation, I can’t remember what was going on, but I would tell him and he would say, “You need to go get before the Lord.” And I didn’t know what that meant. I’ve never done that in my life. Even my mom told it to me and I would just say, “I don’t know how.” And there would be times and I have fought with God. I was on my face crying because I didn’t understand how to get to that point. This is that argument with Him that I had and I told Him, “I don’t want to make up time. I want You to be the source of whatever it is You are asking me to spend time. I don’t want to pick up a book and me try to fabricate this time with You; I don’t want to pick up the Bible and try to fabricate this time with You.” I didn’t want to fabricate anything. I wanted it to be solely “If You wanted me to spend time with You then You be the source of it.” And there would be times where I would feel weighed down and heavy and I would go in my room and sit in a chair and I would cry for an hour. And that would be the time that He, I didn’t knew it at the time, but that would be His time of waiting. Because it is a death. I would crying and I wouldn’t even know why I’m crying. I’m just bawling my eyes out sitting in silence and not knowing if I’m doing a good thing or if it’s a bad thing. I’m just sitting there wailing. And sometimes it would bring me to where I had to stay on my face and cry. Now I see it was that He took me for my word. I said I did not want to fabricate any time spent. I didn’t want to have to say, “Well, I’m going to go spend an hour in James or I’m going to spend an hour in Matthew. He wants a dedicated relationship with you that you can ask that of Him. “I want You to be the source of the time that You’re asking me to give to You that You want from me.” And that is the death to yourself because it is a death. Sometimes I would even sit there and nothing would happen and I would be like, “Man, I’m wasting my time.” But on the inside of me that death to self was transpiring even though I didn’t know what was going on. You could sit there and nothing be said to you, nothing going on and you feel like you wasted time but you have no idea spiritually what you just accomplished.

John:
This is exciting. I have a really good friend named Myles and he and I are building a really cool brotherhood and relationship and one day he was sitting there and we were talking and he…I don’t even remember what it was around but regardless he was praying for me and wasn’t saying anything and the Spirit just came and thumped me right in the center of the chest. And he said, and this takes what you just said, Kyle, and takes it to a totally different realm because I had always thought waiting was I’m, and I’ve said it, investing in the relationship; there’s a return on investment and I’m investing in the relationship and that I’m putting myself forward and I’m being present, but what the Lord came and told me when I was sitting there and He came and thumped me in the chest He said, “You always ask for My presence but I desire yours.” And it ripped me up. I just started weeping. My shoulders where heaving because I realized that He wanted my face, He wanted my presence.

I know that if you are dealing with someone just to give them presence. I know that when I’m with you and you are in a difficult situation if I’m there and I’m present, I am completely there, I’m not looking at my phone, I’m not thinking about something else, I am present in that moment and I am looking at you and I’m there with you and I don’t have to say anything…

Martha:
It’s healing.

John:
…it’s healing. I don’t have to say anything. I don’t have to fix anything. I just have to be with you and I have to look at you. And then all of a sudden I saw that’s what He wants of me. He actually wants me to be present with Him. He longs for my presence.

Martha:
And more than we can conceive because when I even go load the refrigerator and I’ve left my time with Him, He’s wounded…

John:
Yes!

Martha:
…by that small action. Not that it’s legalistic but that’s His heart. His heart was with me to be with me and I interrupted it.

John:
It’s your attention and your focus and when you turn it somewhere else, it’s like, “Wait, let Me grab your face and bring it back because I long for you.” But to know that the King of the universe longs for my face to be turned to Him and just give Him time, just give Him attention. And we don’t have to do anything.

Martha:
The do and the be and the go has to leave.

John:
Nothing.

Martha:
We don’t need…

LaDonna:
That explanation of what Art Katz said if you get down to creature and Creator.

John:
It’s a beautiful presence. If I’m with one of you, you are in pain about a certain situation and I give you presence in the moment in your pain; I’m there, I’m present. It’s huge. Why do we want His presence? Why do we beg for His presence? Because it’s so much power with someone just sitting with you.

But He longs for our presence and that changed everything for me because I realized that for years I didn’t even believe in the sweet presence of the Lord because it had been so taken off into the flesh in so many places I had been and because of all the work and all the sheer life, drudgery, monotony; I didn’t even believe it any more. I just didn’t think it was something that I was ever going to experience again until He just hit my chest. I was like, “Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.” I was repenting. I was saying, “I am so sorry. I’ve withdrawn and I’ve neglected You. I’ve neglected You. I haven’t given You my presence. I’ve looked for Yours but I haven’t given You mine.” And so, it just turned everything. And I’ve been doing it and I’ll just go and I just give Him my face and just my presence, my attention in the moment not looking at my phone, not even reading the Word, not even nothing; just my face.

Martha:
That’s priestly.

John:
Not you just sent it to the moon! WOW!

Martha:
That’s what Art says. That’s all a priest is. I was thinking if I could look up the priest in the OT and what they wore and how they did it and what they did and that’s not it at all. The priest is the one who waits. He does the blood; that has a place in the priest. We have to know the blood. If you are a priest, you’ve got to live in the blood. The blood goes on the ear, blood on your hearing everywhere; on your big toe, on your decisions; and all that. That’s a priestly function plus slaughtering all the animals. But I do think the priest uses the blood redemptively.

John:
You were reading I think in the message you were reading from Apostolic Foundation. You said, “Waiting is only waiting when we ask nothing, desire nothing, expect nothing. We make no claims. We are not requiring. We are His creation and He is the Creator. This is priestliness.” And that’s exactly it. It’s present, being present in the moment.

Joan:
We don’t think that that has any value. It’s not valid to wait anymore. It’s not valid to not be doing something. We are in such a busyness.

LaDonna:
Luke 21. Weighted down with the cares of the world.

Joan:
And the nausea of self-indulgence.

Martha:
That one gets me every time.

Joan:
Every time.

Kyle:
Now I see it. That’s the weight that I felt even sitting in the chair, I would wrestle with Him, there would be a huge weight on my body, on my heart, and I wouldn’t know what was going on. I would just start bawling for hours. But it’s healing. It’s a great healing that happens when you are willing to just put yourself in the position to where “You know what God? I’m not asking nothing. I’m just here. I cannot physically do this anymore and I will sit here.” Like I said I don’t want to fabricate anything. I don’t want to have to pick up the scripture and say, “You will meet me here! I’m just going to put myself in this position to where I can’t do this anymore. I need You.”

Waiting on God is Not Wasting Time – Episode #776 – Shulamite Podcast

God longs for our presence! I alway believed in my my desiring His presence but He too longs for mine. Waiting on God is never wasting time!