Divine Designed Life Podcast

Episode #6 – The Silk Screen 2

with Martha Kilpatrick and hosted by John Enslow

(J) I’m going to take the responsibility, and take whatever consequences come from my choices. I have to make choices; I have been called to make choices. God has given me a free will to make choices. And when I choose not to make those choices, I dull my light; I completely dull my light. And it’s just real convenient to say it was the mother. Oh, it’s real convenient to say it’s my wife. Well no, it’s a coward’s way out. It’s a coward’s way out; it’s a wimpy way out. And it’s an excuse not to be the glowing star that we are.
(M) It’s like putting your light under a bushel.
(J) Absolutely. With irresponsibility, and refusial to taking responsibility, and it is an awesome thing to be a man, and to have all the responsibility that we have. I mean, you know something, if we don’t lay it on God we’re not going to make it. Because we have to sustain families, and we have to sustain as the spiritual head of the household. But how many men do you know that are so willing to give that spiritual head, just in a ‘drop’. How many men that you know that are willing just do whatever we can do? And we’ll blame, to get out of it; but we’ll do whatever we can do to get out of that responsibility. And I’ve heard it said that we men want to go back into the womb and hide. And I think that’s what the Silk Screen is; it’s wearing blame, so that we don’t have to face what God’s called us to face; and that’s the choice to live.
(M) Well, to re-capture your own heart, so your heart belongs to God, then you have to do so by assuming responsibility? Is that how you capture your heart, and give it to God?
(J) Some of this can’t be said by a woman because then you all are seeming like you’re ‘blaming’. See, I’m a man, and I can say this as a man, because I live in a man’s skin, and I see men around me, and I hear the concerns of men. And I see the excuse of man, and I see the responsibility of men. So I can call men to account, because I’m calling myself to account.
(M) Well, it is hard work. Jesus said the work of God is to believe in the Son. And to believe in the Son you have to be in relationship with Him; and to be in relationship with Him, you have to have your heart open to Him. And that’s work; a relationship is work. The result is rest. But it is a work to see, and to find God’s will, to hear Him, to resolve your hard issues, and to assume responsibility, find out what it is God wants of you, all of that is a work. And I believe from this experience I had with the Lord, that He is rising up with zeal because He wants to possess the house of His men that He’s already bought with His blood.
(J) Well you know something, the passion that you had the other day was like Jesus going through the temple and turning over the moneychanger’s tables. And praise God that He is willing to turn over those tables when He needs to turn over those tables. It was out of order and it needed to be turned over. It needed to be said, no. And what God is saying no to is the willfulness of man, the rebellion of man, the defiance of man, and the unbelief of man. Unfortunately most men would rather die than choose responsibility.
(M) How tragic.  I thought about that too John, because the zeal of the Lord was almost like a fire inside of me. And at the end of it I thought of that turning over the tables of the moneychangers, and I realized it was not turning over the tables, it was confronting the men of the lack of, of the merchandising of God. It was a confrontation of the men who used God for financial and personal gain. It was really about the men.
(J) Well how much more tragic is it that we’re willing to use someone else’s sin and offence as an excuse not to live life. The problem is not being captured, the real problem is being revealed by being captured. The capture is simply …
(M) the exposure of the heart of a man?
(J) Well yeah, it’s a magnifying glass, it’s like a huge magnifying glass. This reveals the heart of man. The capture reveals what man has chosen. See, it’s amazing to me how this works out, but a person’s sin against us doesn’t reveal the person’s sin against us, it reveals our heart and what we’ve chosen. Yes, there are a number of men who I’m currently in relationship with and have around me, that are captured by their mothers. It’s a willful choice to die rather than to face, face God in relationship, face God. It’s a choosing of our willfulness, and all the offence was, all the mother’s offence was, was God saying let me show you very clearly what’s in your heart. Because no man can capture me, I can only go to prison because I choose prison. I can’t be captured  And so it’s more of a revealing of what’s in that man’s heart, not a revealing of what’s been done to that man.
(M) Well I’m convinced that every woman has had the ‘Eve’ excuse and deception and every man has gone to the blame of a woman. It is in our nature, it’s not just an opps its in our nature. It’s going to be there until we realize that that nature has died and that we have the option of the new creation.
(J) In the movie “The Whole Wide World”, the gentleman plays him as a magnificent man who is completely and utterly captured; and will not take responsibility. And ends up, he’s got passion, but the only place he can put his passion is into these, what he calls ‘yarns’, which is “Conan and the Barbarian”, it was just kind of like the pulp fiction of the day. And he ends up tragically fulfilling his mother’s own desires for him to go to death with her; because he was captured. But it wasn’t because he was captured, it was because that’s what he chose. He didn’t want to live life.  It was a revealing. And “The Silver Cord”, there was a majorly controlling mother who the boys would not say no to the mother. And she basically ran their life, and destroyed one of their marriages, and possibly was about to destroy the second one. But it reveals not that they were captured, see we’ve gone so many times and said, ‘poor them’, poor pity them, they’ve been captured, they were just a child. No, it was God, God did it; God said let me reveal to you what’s in your heart. You haven’t chosen Me, you haven’t chosen life, you have chosen yourself, and you have chose to live behind that woman, that man, that excuse, because you would prefer that excuse than Me. And so that’s where it all boils down, the revealing of the choice. What’s the choice? I prefer my selfish way, my blame and my excuse than God himself.
(M) I have had so many people say to me, both men and women, when their heart was exposed, that’s not what I want, that’s not my hearts desire, but you see, it is. Your hearts desire is proven by what you choose for you heart. And I will say, you do want it or you wouldn’t have done it. But to say that’s not I would do, I’m just a victim.
(J) The amazing thing is, is the powerlessness that’s being spoken there, is further blame, it’s further proof, you see it’s further proof of the blame of that situation, that person.
(M) How so John?
J) When we feel our powerlessness to whatever, our powerlessness proves that we’re blaming. I am powerless because I’m blaming.
(M) You are powerless, but it’s because you’re blaming not because you’re powerless to choose.
(J) Exactly, I haven’t taken the responsibility; I have blamed, rather than take the responsibility. And the fact that you’re powerless to that sin, oh I don’t want to be there, I can’t do….because you’re powerless, it proves that you’re in a place of blame.
(M)Thank you.  That’s good.

BREAK in message – see below

(M) Well I don’t know whether we have opened a kettle of worms, or found an answer. But once again John, I appreciate your for speaking to the men. And I consider this podcast a calling of men to assume responsibility to become. I think in Christian circles I’ve observed that men abuse their power of authority with women, simply because they think they have the right to.
(J) Recently we saw the movie, “Apocalypto,” and the reason why we did go to see that movie was because where Bob and Rosemary live, just down the street, within half an hour, was the Mayan temples that a lot of that whole culture was from. And we really felt like God was calling us to go and watch that and see the core.
(M) To see the roots of the problems in Honduras that lie in that horrible era of human sacrifice.
(J) And so in that movie you see that the one man who survived from this one village was the man who loved the woman and took responsibility for her. The one who loved his wife and took responsibility for her and his children. So again, there’s more irresponsibility.  I’ll blame the woman.  I’ll abuse the woman because I’m the man, but I’m not being the full picture of the man. I’m only taking that one side of the man, beating the woman up, but I’m not taking the whole full responsibility of it. This man.. (M) because he had a tender relationship with his wife, he was willing to open his heart to his wife. I don’t know how accurate. This was a Hollywood story, but the principal stands, that the man who’s willing to be fully a man, then enters relationship intimately with his wife, and then he assumes responsibility for her safety; and he has the motivation to win the war.
(J) You pretty much said it there.
(M) Well Lord, we just give You this conversation that John and I have had, and I just pray you’ll put it together and make sense of it, and speak to the hearts of men with this great accountability that you’re pouring out here. I want your zeal, and your calling into accountability to come through here. Because the one thing I see about most men is that they have no fear of God. And Father, I ask You to pour out on all of us a reverential fear for You through the Holy Spirit.
(J) I personally didn’t have a fear of God. A great part of my beginning walk with God, I didn’t have fear, because again, it was back to blame. I blamed God, and then I put human attributes on Him. Well, I didn’t have to listen to Him, because I didn’t have to listen to whomever, whatever authority was in my life. I had this wrong authority, I had this, it was blame, and I didn’t have fear. But He jerked that knot real tight, real fast, and I have that now. But Hallelujah.  But really it’s blame, why you don’t have the fear of God.
(M) I see. That’s real clear now. Well we could go on. I think John you and I could write a book on this subject. There’s a great deal more that we’re not going into. Where the Lord goes with this I think is going to still be about the heart. There’s going to be a thread through this that what God really seeks is the condition of the heart. And what He really wants is the intimacy of the heart. So we just commit this to the Lord, and ask Him to bless it, and send it forth and use it for His purposes, and may God raise up the men who will be vessels of the One Magnificent Man, the One True Man; and may the name of Jesus rise up and be proclaimed within men and his manhood.

Additional Resources on this topic: CD series “Leave Thy Parents”. These 3 messages have been extracted from the “Good Shepherd” series and deal more specifically with the issues of the heart that we have been dealing with in this podcast. If you see in your life these elements and desire freedom, we ask that you prayerfully consider acquiring these messages. In them we delve deeper into the issues, reveal Gods solution, and walk through prayers. Gain freedom today, and start the journey of regaining your heart for God.


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