Divine Designed Life Podcast

Episode #5 – The Silk Screen 1

with Martha Kilpatrick and hosted by John Enslow

(J) In the last podcast we said we were going to really go into this podcast with my testimony and with the man who I’m currently working with. So, Martha, you had a parable from Matthew that you wanted to go into; what was that?
(M) The parable of the talents. I won’t read it all, but if you remember the one talent man was given just that one responsibility; a talent is a responsibility. All of us are given our talents, our responsibilities. The Father, Jesus intends us to glorify the Father by multiplying our talent and bearing fruit. He said that and it was recorded in John 15. But the one talent servant did not take responsibility to multiply what he’d been given. And when he was called to account, which we will be, he said to the Master, you are a hard man reaping where you did not sow. In other words he was saying, God You are not fair and hard., and so I was afraid and went and hid Your talent in the ground. See, You have what is yours. But his Master answered and said, you wicked, lazy slave. You knew that I reap where I did not sow, and gather where I scattered no seed. He said at least you should have put my money in the bank and there it would have gained interest. Therefore take away the talent from him and give it to the one who has ten. And throw the worthless slave into the outer darkness, that place where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. Well that was a responsibility. And he had an excuse for the failure to take hold of his responsibility and find out how to multiply. He had the smallest responsibility. And he considered that fear was a valid excuse and that surely the Master would understand. But the Lord did not accept his definition of the excuse. He called it wickedness and laziness, and the repercussions of that were very painful. So you see fear is something that we humans think is acceptable. Everybody’s afraid, aren’t they? Well, the Lord does not find fear acceptable, because of who He is, and what He can be and do. He doesn’t accept fear as an excuse. So the man, who says, I’m afraid, is the man who’s not assuming responsibility for his sin and his failure. You agree John?
(J) Well, yeah, I do see that, and I see it quite clearly. God has been really on it, and addressing it and showing it in a number of different media ways actually. There are a number of movies and books and plays and different stuff like that. I guess I’m a visual learner, and I learn real well with visuals, and He’s used a play from the 20’s and 30’s called “The Silver Cord” to show this. He’s used a movie called “The Whole Wide World” about Bob Howard, who was the gentleman who wrote “Conan,The Barbarian”. There’s just been a number of resources out right now, that He has showing that the fear is totally and utterly and completely inexcusable.
(M) Well John is familiar with a certain calling I have had for a number of years. The Lord put it on my heart very powerfully, oh at least thirteen years ago, that He desired the hearts of men, and that He was longing for men to give Him their heart and to enter into an intimate relationship with the Lord. So all these years I have been praying for a number of men in my path and in my life; I didn’t really know that it was their heart God was after. Recently I set out on a rather extensive limited sort of fast to ask God to show me, or to give me the prayer to liberate men to belong to God completely. I was really seeking Him, and a number of us were seeking Him, for the hearts of men to free to belong to the Lord. On a certain day recently, I really experienced the fury of the Lord with men. Let me hasten to say, I have great reverence for men, I want men to be as magnificent as Christ made them to be. I want His magnificence displayed within men. I’m not opposed to men. God has shown me how wonderful and magnificent He’s made them to be. I have great respect and reverence for men. But I was experiencing a strange, entire day of the zeal of the Lord for His house; and it was a consuming fire in me. It was a blaze of indignation, a blaze of  and even a sort of fury. I didn’t have any words for it, I didn’t know what it was about, and I didn’t really understand it. I just knew it the Lord giving me the cry of the Spirit in the form of a great zeal and indignation. By that night I was completely spent, because the energy of it was so fierce. It was two days later that the Lord began to show me what His fury with men was, and it was laziness. It was the spiritual laziness of men. And He was holding them accountable; He’s holding men accountable for not seeking to make your heart accessible and available to the Lord. John, do you have any insight along that line?
(J) Well I see that the laziness goes back to what you said in the last podcast about the irresponsibility. And how we have a real tendency, as our father Adam did, to blame the woman; it’s really easy for us to blame the woman. We can blame our wives, blame our girlfriends, blame our mothers, blame our grandmothers, we can blame our co-worker; there’s a lot about the woman, and what we do with women.
(M) Would you say it’s convenient for a man to blame a woman and consider that he’s caught in her demands, or maybe the mother captured the boys heart? Do you believe that its convenient for a man to have an ‘out’?
(J) Well I’m working with a man right now, that I have seen this very, very, very clearly. I wish I could say that I didn’t see it as reflecting in a mirror here. But I can say that this gentleman had blamed his mother, for the capture of his heart. And he felt that he was completely and utterly irresponsible for that capture. He didn’t even believe that he had any culpability in that capture. He believed he was powerless to say no to her.
(M) So if you believe you’re powerless, you are powerless and it puts the entire responsibility on the mother to let you go.
(J) Yeah, and I see, real clearly, that it was a laziness that he had, most of us men have. When we blame our mothers, or we blame our captures, whatever, we’re blaming because we’re wanting an excuse; it’s the core of Adam. This is what I believe in my heart about Adam, and I believe about men, that we really and truly want an excuse to take out our responsibility of the picture. So we’ll be captured, or we’ll be, whatever. So it’s a real easy ‘out’ for us to say, I was captured.
(M) John, many years ago, when I was trying to learn Gods will for me as a wife, I asked Him to show me His view of a man and what He showed me was the terrible responsibility that lies on a man. And men know it. It is a responsibility level that most women do not comprehend. I’ve been watching “Band of Brothers” again, and I just wept at the responsibility on men to win wars, to fight, to face the enemy. And I know women are in combat now too, but mostly the responsibility rests on men. That’s just one picture of the terrible responsibility. I think if I had it I’d run from it too. But it is a God given glory and opportunity for the man. Do you think that’s true?
(J) Absolutely. I think that it’s utterly true, that if we will embrace our responsibility, allow Christ’s life to be lived through us, and to embrace that responsibility it will be awesome. We’re magnificent, we really are shining stars; we are stars in the firmament, we really are.  We glow. But we don’t glow when we’re irresponsible, when we have blame, we don’t glow; we dull our brightness by irresponsibility.
(M) Wow. There was one leader, a lieutenant in the “Band of Brothers” who was so magnificent, and completely responsible, and he never got killed. He would put himself in the line of fire, he assumed responsibility; he loved the responsibility, he shown in it and he is remembered with such reverence because he would go out first and be the target. This is manhood at its best, when a man will stand up to his terrible responsibility.
(J) Well I think where the blame comes in, and the irresponsibility, is where I feel like if I can roll my culpability and my choice over onto someone else. I’ve been captured, by my mom, whatever, I can roll that culpability and my choice over on then  and I’m free of my responsibility, and I’m free of my choice. You see again its Adam. There’s no consequence for sin. And basically it’s saying, God you did it, You gave me this mother, or You gave me this wife, or You gave me whoever.  God, You did it. You put this woman in my life. It’s just like Adam did. God You did this to me, You gave me this woman. This is the woman You gave me, and she made me eat this apple. Well we think we’ll take that road out. We will purpose to take the road out, and blame, and choose to have no power, say oh, I don’t have any power.  I’m powerless.  I’m free of the responsibility and consequences of my own sinful choices.  I’m free.   I’m utterly free.  I’m now hiding behind my mother, my wife, whoever it is I’m hiding behind her. And I call it the Silk Screen, the Silk Screen that we all want to live behind, because its safety; because we’re completely blameless, I don’t have any blame in this, I’ve been captured.
(M) And then it becomes ‘I can’t’ instead of ‘I won’t’. It becomes ‘I’m helpless’, instead of ‘I can do it’. It becomes ‘I can’t choose’; it also becomes ‘I don’t understand’. All those things are self-deception I believe.
(J) Well and a lot of these things we’ve seen with “The Silver Cord” and “The Whole Wide World”. There was a woman that was willing to stand against a woman that captured a man and his heart. Again, it’s just a real easy escape hatch to hide behind someone’s abuse like that. It doesn’t have to be a woman, ok, it could be anyone, it could be your father it could be anyone. But I believe it’s real big to say I couldn’t do anything other than this; I have no responsibility to this, because I was captured. Even what I said, with the whole vulnerability; I feared being vulnerable to men. Well, what is that? See, that’s a blame of them. I fear other men and what they would say, rather than, dadgumit!  I’m going to live life, and I’m going to take the responsibility, and take whatever consequences for my choices. I have to make choices. I’ve been called to make choices. God has given me a free will to make choices. And when I choose not to make those choices I dull my light, I completely dull my light. And it’s just real convenient to say it was the mother. Oh it’s real convenient to say it’s my wife. Well no, it’s a coward’s way out. It’s a coward’s way out; it’s a wimpy way out. And it’s an excuse not to be the glowing star that we are.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *