The Hidden Life Into The World
With Martha Kilpatrick and hosted by John Enslow
Special guests: Carole Nelson and Julie
(M) Then you got the revelation, what it was.
(J) Well yeah, during the whole thing it was void, but then this morning I really realized that… because I felt like at the very beginning of this whole thing, I felt like He was going to show us something, and I was real excited, but it didn’t come the way I thought He was going to show us. It wasn’t something glorious or wonderful, even though it is glorious and wonderful. It didn’t come in a glorious and wonderful way. So I was, that…
(M) You were disappointed.
(J) I was disappointed too, so yeah. So it was a dearth of a whole bunch of things. So then this morning I saw that if you have “The Hidden Life”, and you have your “Inner Room”, and you can’t walk amongst the world, and not have that affected, it’s worth nothing. “The Hidden Life”, and “The Inner Room” is something that He wants ‘out there.’ He wants you to take it. You can’t just stay there. You have to go out. You have to go out into the world and affect the world, and have the hidden life and the inner room impact. And so then all of a sudden I said, ok, this is utterly perfectly set up.
(M) When you told me that, I realized that when I was walking through it I felt like I was in a bubble. Really, I was not involved. I was only involved with Him. And He was involved with them, and I was simply the observer. But I really felt like I was not there. Nobody looked at me. I didn’t meet anybody eye to eye; nobody saw me. And I wasn’t… I just, I was in a bubble. I was inside the hidden place. Not, not that I can do that always, but I want to, as you’re saying.
(J) Well, that’s what we’re called to. If you can’t take your hidden life and the inner room ‘out’, it’s pointless. Go home, go be with God, die.
(M) Hmhmm, pray for the world. (Martha laughs.) He just specifically said, “I do not ask You to take them out of the world, but to preserve them in the world, and to keep them from the evil one.” But you know, we are seldom out in that worldly a situation. usually we’re with other believer’s. And He just orchestrated it, in His own…
(J) Unbeknownst to me, and any of us. (Martha laughs.)
(Carole) “I have a light, and it always shines. It shines in the day and it shines in the night. The dark days come, and it’s not bright, I’ll still be shining because I have a light.” So what I think of Martha, because you said we don’t always, I think you’re not always aware of it, but you are always moving out of the hidden room, because that is your life. And that is why I believe that He’s called you to, to proclaim it and publish it from one generation to the next. And I think, John, when you, I don’t, I just don’t, you have a light! And it always shines! And whether you’re aware of it or not, I’m more aware of it in you than you are, you know. And ah, and sometimes when I think back, as you all were talking, I think oh my goodness Lord, I didn’t think of all that, I didn’t think of all that at all. But we all have a light, and it’s Him. It’s nothing, its’ nothing but Him. And when we go, I’m not, I’m not aware of it, but I did love those waitresses, and I would look at people and I would… Until you said something Martha I didn’t realize it had to be Him. It had to be… There was a peace in the midst of that chaos. There was a solitude in the midst of that chaos and public arena, so many people.
(M) There’s this area where a lot of children were playing with bubbles and face paint and all kinds of things. And I, I thought, oh, Jesus is Lord here. And what if He came booming in and this place was transformed. And I don’t know that that was even a prayer, but I thought, oh, He wants to take this over. So we were just natural. We were just going.
(J) I was tempted to leave, leave my, ah, inner room and the hidden life. I was tempted to be aware externally. And that was the temptation. Because of my awareness of the external I lost Him, my awareness of Him. Not that He wasn’t there, not that He wasn’t involved, not that He didn’t set it all up, that has nothing to do with it. But my awareness of Him was gone, so my peace was gone, so it, it, catapults down, you know.
(M) But you know, John, you played a role in this story. And that role was to demonstrate what…
(J) What not to do. (John and Martha both laugh.)
(M) I didn’t know how to say it. (Martha laughs.)
(J) What not to do.
(M) And I think in your experience, in your life, chaos was present a lot, and disorder. You have, you love order. I think it was your realization that you don’t have to be involved in the disorder; you’re not threatened by the chaos and the confusion, and the madness. It was just…
(M) Huge loud madness on a Saturday. And I turned to Jennifer and I said, “Do these people think this is life Jennifer? That this is living?” And she said, “Yes, of course.” And uhmm. So I think the Lord had you, just as He had me crying out for His presence, He had you to demonstrate; you played your role perfectly. That’s what He wanted to show you, and that’s what He wanted to do. So it’s quite a…
(J) It was, the whole lesson was very interesting.
(M) But it is a lesson of “The Hidden Life’. You made that statement very clearly, that you can’t have a revelation or a truth like that that isn’t tested. It was tested for me that morning, in a different way. And it’s, it has to become actual. It has to become a living thing.
(J) You know something I’m thinking right now is, if I had just said ‘Thank you God’.
(J) Well here’s another lesson, because that’s specifically what He’s asking us to do. If I’d just said, ok, I thank You, I don’t understand any of this, I’m, I’m just trusting You and I thank You for the whole situation. This is crazy and I hate the disorder and I hate the chaos and, and I hate the fact that I don’t sense what You’re doing, but I just thank You that You…
(M) You are doing.
(J) Because He was doing.
(M) Good point. It was great.
(Julie) Ok, two things, and I don’t know what order to tell them. But I want, it was significant to me yesterday. I knew there had to have been a tremendous purpose in yesterday, because He had all of us together, and even had two of the next generation with us. And we came home last night and my son said, because he hasn’t spent all that much time with us as a group for one thing. And he said… And I told him going into it, there has to be a purpose in this or we wouldn’t all be going, especially not this close to a conference.
(Julie) And so, when we got home last night he goes, “Ok Mom, what was the purpose of today?” And I was like, “I don’t know. And we may not know for weeks, but I know that there had to have been one for Him to have had us all there.” So he came down this morning and he said… He’s got a poignant awareness of the Lord in Martha, and he watches, he watches you all, he watches everything. And he came down and he goes, “Well one thing that I saw”, this is him saying this. He said that, “ Martha is so dependent on God that it’s like she’s not even there.” (John laughs.) Isn’t that precious? And he said, “I want to be that dependent on God.” He goes, “I don’t know how you get to be that dependent on God, but I want to be that dependent on God.” I said, “Well, how did you see that?” And he said, “Well we were all in that restaurant,” and he used the same word, chaos. He goes, “It was chaos in that restaurant. And we were all stumbling around trying to find out what to do, and Martha just said, “I want some water,” and walked out.” (Julie and John are laughing.) But it’s just awesome to me how… It’s kind of like, I’m suddenly remembering Psalm 19 that talks about that ‘the heavens declare the glory of God and that the stars themselves have a language that’s going out all the time.’ It’s like the Lord is testifying to Himself all the time in everything, and telling His own story all the time in everything; and it’s just so there. Another thing that struck me is the way we were seated in this restaurant. There was this big, big, big long table, and it just so happened… I think it’d say that in scripture, “and it so happened” Martha was seated at the core of the table. And this morning as I was reflection on all that yesterday, I’ve never really understood the Lord’s Name as Rock, but that’s what I saw yesterday.
(Julie) I was aware of how much He, by all that I’ve received of Him through her, is a Rock. And how, because I, it’s like because I have that Rock, I have that security of what is truth and what is life and what is reality, that I’m safe, and I can go out. And the scripture that came to me was Jn. 1:12, and it says, “But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God.” And some translations say, “He gave the power to become children of God.” And that’s what I saw in it yesterday; I was so grateful, and I saw there was such an immanence. I can’t, that may not even be the right word, a going out. There was such an immanence of Him as a Rock coming from her. And I could see how every, even Jen’s sister, were drawn, were drawn to that Rock, were drawn to that security, were drawn to that reality. And it gives us the power to be children, and to be safe. Because I felt, which is not my nature, but I felt perfectly safe all day long yesterday. I mean, it was weird, but it wasn’t threatening. And it was foreign Everything about it felt foreign. The Star Wars bar thing is exactly what it felt like. But I never… I felt so secure, and that was new to know that I was so… by His doing, all His doing in me, I was so grounded in Him and with Him, and I didn’t see it until just now, but with Him in my own private way, that I could be out there and know that He had a purpose, know that everything was in order, regardless of what it looked like. And I just praise Him for that. I praise Him for Him doing that. And it is like a power. We have to have a power to become children like that.