Staying true to one’s identity amidst the holiday triggers is difficult. In this podcast, we’re learning to resist the toxic allure and emerge from the season with a renewed commitment to the beautifully true self.
Shadows of Shame During the Holiday Season
Walk and talk with John Enslow
Hey there, so we’re coming into Christmas time, Christmas is next week and we have gone through the holiday season of Thanksgiving. I know that that can be a real triggering time for us. That different times with family can just drum up a lot of shame from childhood, past wounds and I just wanted to quickly come in and talk about that.
One of the key things about shame is that shame can prevent us from living our authentic self. And when that shame becomes our identity…. Woof… Then it becomes toxic and becomes deadly. In my upcoming book on overcoming shame, I wanna primarily deal with the toxic shame that is associated with it becoming our identity and that it binds us. And when we take on that identity to deal with toxic shame, when we leave our authentic self, and enter into toxic shame, one of the key things that happens is we develop and we form a false self. And that formation… is soul murder. That formation literally kills ourselves. So we lose our authentic nature. We lose our self. And we grab hold of and we develop a false identity.
When we have this toxic shame, it’s a healthy signal that we need help because shame reveals to us our core dependency need of God. So I’m looking at all this and I’m pondering all this and I’m I’m thinking shame is something that can be positive. Shame can separate us from our animalistic nature, from our hedonistic self, that just says do as thou wilt. That’s a healthy form of shame that’s when shame has a benefit to me, when it’s saying, listen these actions, these things that you’re doing are counter to who you are, who you were created to be in Christ. And that’s a positive thing. So there is a positive nature shame. Shame can stand as a sentinel to say, don’t go here. Don’t go there. This is destructive to your life and it says I’m unable to do this on my own. I have to have Jesus. I have to have His life and I can’t do this without Him.
These are all positive things. These are all shames that you can get that touches and nudges to let me know that there’s a higher purpose, there’s a higher calling, for me to live in and to live under. But when that shame when that touch becomes toxic, when I take on shame as a nature, as a toxic shame nature and I lose my authentic self, and I become a false self to compensate for my shame. That’s when it becomes, deadly and destructive and murderous to my soul. I literally take it on, and I see myself as something beyond who I was created to be. And here’s another thing that happens. When I’m in shame, when I’m in deep shame, I can also use shameful things to compensate. So I can act shamefully to try to prevent shame from crushing my heart and my soul. That’s just destructive, that’s shame on top of shame on top of shame, and that Dagwood sandwich so to speak is just so utterly destructive to my heart to my life into my person. And then I am in a quagmire. I am caught in toxic shame, and I cannot get out of that toxic shame, it becomes something that prevents me from experiencing joy in life and my authentic self, my true self, my God created self, and I enter into a world of sin and destruction.
So I just want to let you know that as we enter into these holidays, and we face things that could trigger us to shame I just wanna stand for the true self, the true created self the beautiful created self that God is made for us and has created us to be. Just remain true yourself. Just remain true to your heart, just remain true to your identity, and don’t allow shame to take you under and leave you flailing in a toxic soup of false identity. So I’ll talk to you soon after the holidays. I look forward to what the new year has to offer.
Shadows of Shame During the Holiday Season- Episode #871 – DivineDesignedLifePodcast.com
Explore the most triggering time of the year and the shame of the holiday season. It can either serve as a guiding light or become a toxic force that threatens our very essence.