Divine Designed Life Podcast

The Power of Yes in Boundaries – Episode #875

The Power of Yes in Boundaries

Unlock your world with the power of YES: Embracing boundaries to overcome shame and live fully! Boundaries can actually open your world.

The Power of Yes in Boundaries
Episode #875
05/06/2024

Walk and talk with John Enslow

Boundaries actually open your world. They don’t have to close your world off, they can open your world up.

Hey, so in working with shame, I’m discovering something, that boundaries and shame are directly linked. And how I’m seeing that is that, when we don’t have established boundaries our shame can be compounded. And some of our shame might be the shame that someone else placed upon us through acts or deeds or whatever and we weren’t able to say “NO!” We were young, we were children, we were whatever and we weren’t able to say “NO!” and establish that boundary and we feel like our boundaries, our limits, our world is not a safe place and this created even more shame. And so what I’m seeing is that in working with shame you also have to work with boundaries. And establishing those boundaries… it’s beautiful because all of a sudden, now you can possibly say NO where you have never been able to say NO. And you don’t have to do it in a violent way, you can do it in an honoring way, a respectful way, you can do it in a way that promotes your own health, your own safety.

Because the purpose of boundaries is not to shut us off, it’s to open us up. Boundaries create the safety to be open and receptive to our self to others and our world. But the power of boundaries is the power of our “YES!” It’s more about saying what we want, what we need rather than having to be a policeman saying no no no no no no no. Standing in those negatives on a regular basis and just literally policing your boundaries, it’s exhausting and it’s not life-giving and it’s not a way of experiencing and expressing life. It confines you, it walls you in, it makes you isolated and that’s just not how you come out of shame.

We come out of shame, as I’ve stated before, through community. And that’s why coaching is so amazing, because you step into your processes and you step into your world and you’re able to gain clarity. You lay it out and you’re able to gain clarity and direction but you’re inviting someone in to help you through and to walk out of your shame and away from your shame.  But it’s not done by micromanaging everything around you and in your world so that you remain safe. It’s opening yourself up. It’s giving your YES. It’s giving your consent. It’s negotiating boundaries.  Boundaries are huge! Boundaries are beautiful and I am so excited about the work of boundaries and what boundaries actually can afford you. They open your world. They don’t close your world, they open your world. I’m not telling people, “Don’t touch this realm!” “Don’t go here!” “Don’t do this!” I go into my world and I’m open. I’m open and I’m receptive and I’m receiving and I embrace all these areas and that’s beautiful.

And it isn’t like I’m not gonna state my NO. That’s gonna be the inevitable part of establishing boundaries, is stating your NO. What you don’t want, what you’re not allowing, but the force and the power behind boundaries is your YES rather than your NO. Your primary force, your primary focus is your yes. That is opening you up to your world. That is opening you up to community, that is opening you up to living life.

When you have everything blocked out with just list and a litany of NO’s, that’s when you are confining yourself and I don’t feel like that’s how Christ called us to be. He’s called us to be open. He’s called us to love and he’s called us to receive. And that’s the position where shame starts diminishing and going away.

So as your establishing boundaries you’re not walling yourself in, you’re not walling yourself up, you’re not further isolating yourself, you’re just establishing the realms of a hat is allowed in your life? What is your boundaries and your borders and your safety.

So I’m continuing to deal with this and I’m continuing to look at this and I’m really excited about what boundaries mean to those dealing with shame and overcoming shame. You have to establish boundaries. You have to establish your safety, but it’s not a list of policing laws and legalism. It’s walking in your world with a YES! to God, to yourself, and to others. And where you want those yeses to be…it’s your choice. It’s your life and you’re able to do it.

So I hope you continue to follow me as I explore this whole area of boundaries related to shame and how we live our life and how we express our life and how we experience our life. So thank you for listening. I am so excited about this book about Overcoming Shame. It is being edited and being set up to be released and so thank you for your patience, and I look forward to releasing this and bringing you more in the days in the weeks to come.

The Power of Yes in Boundaries – Episode #875 – Divine Designed Life Podcast

Discover the transformative power of yes in boundaries to overcome shame and live a more open, fulfilling life. Establishing healthy limits isn’t about isolation but about creating safety and freedom for yourself, your relationships, and your world.

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