Breaking Chains: Unmasking the Shadows of the Shame Life and Embracing True Freedom
The Negative and Positive of the Shame Life
Walk and talk with John Enslow
Well hey there, so I’m continuing to deal with the topic of shame. I’ll probably be on this for a while because of the fact that, that is the book I’m writing and I’m really excited about it. I’m real excited about the outcome of bringing a way of overcoming shame. Shame has been such a part of my life and something that is really been very destructive in my life and I am looking to have it completely eradicated in my life as well as in the lives of those I walk with and love.
So I was thinking about shame today and I’m looking at how much shame is rooted in comparison. We basically will take on data that we are accumulating from our world. I’m not as… pretty, I’m not as thin … I’m not as big… I’m not as successful… I’m not as competent… I’m not as…… It keeps on going. So we have this data that we’re collecting, through our observation of our world. We’re looking at our world and we’re making observations and we’re comparing ourselves to that data. The funny thing is that data may not have anything to do with the truth. That may be simply our perception and not about reality at all. But then from the data, from the data we make conclusions and we make judgments and those judgments can sink us and tank us. It’s amazing how I am not pretty as…I am not successful as…I am not liked as… I am not… it’s amazing! It’s absolutely amazing how that data can bring such a dark cloud on our soul. Where we take that data and where we don’t match the grade we don’t meet the standard of what we think is supposed to be. It’s tragic because it shut us down. It makes us feel less than and it’s not supporting us in order to get us to where we want to be. It closes us down. It closes our heart down and it makes us feel inferior, weak, less than and it’s a vicious cycle that spirals us down. We feel subpar and that’s just destructive on our lives.
So another thing I’m thinking about as a relates to shame: how much of our spiritual life is based in shame, motivated by shame? Am I again taking from the data that I have gathered…I’m not as spiritual… I don’t read the word as much… I don’t do this as much… I don’t pray… I don’t make every meeting… I don’t… How much of our spiritual life is rooted and motivated by shame? Talk about tragic, talk about destructive, talk about life-sucking. Something that is supposed to be beautiful, something that supposed to be supportive, something that supposed to be life-giving is motivated based on shame, on the shame that I’m not enough.
Our relationship with our Christianity is intended to be based on relationship with Christ, relationship with the body, and it’s based on love. Love is our motivating force. That was the intent. The motivating force is love. So how much of our spiritual life is shame-based? How much of our spiritual life is rooted in a desire to compensate for weakness and sin and generational curses? It’s tragic? It’s pathetic and it’s life-sucking and I hate it. I absolutely hate it.
It goes beyond our spiritual life. How much of our actions are shame-based to compensate for where we feel we lack, where we feel like we’re subpar. How much exactly…how much of our daily living is based in rooted in the motivation of shame to overcome and to protect us from further pain, further shame. Shame to combat shame. It’s amazing how we will use that and that’s just human. It’s really very, very human. We use shame to control ourselves. It’s a force that not only is put upon us, but sometimes we use shame in order to shield ourselves from things that might hurt us. Shield ourselves from pain and things that have been destructive in our lives. These are all just very human, very understandable, but destructive nonetheless. Things that are not needed. Things that can be overcome.
And so as I’m writing this book, overcoming shame, I’m looking to discover these areas that we are caught in, that we are trapped by, and that hold our joy and our life and our potential and our satisfaction. They hold us from, not bring us to. And I am I’m looking to crush those areas. I’m looking to expose those areas. I’m looking to put those areas in the right light, that they’re destructive and they’re soul-sucking and life altering and we don’t need them.
So I’m writing this book and I’m exploring shame as a motivating force, and I’m exposing shame as a destructive and life zapping rather than life supporting function. I know there are positive ends of shame. We know that if people are living shamelessly, that there is a positive nature to shame, shame is a awareness of, an exposure of things in our lives that should change. Things that are not correct, things that are not right, things that don’t fall in line with God in his heart for us. And we carry that shame because it’s a red flag to say, there’s an issue here, there’s a problem here, there needs to be an adjustment. But there’s a big difference between the natural elements of shame that is a natural emotion to bring course correction and then be the motivating force behind why we are living, what we are doing and who we are. I’m looking to explore that, I’m looking to expose that, and I’m looking to crush that, so that we can live as men and women fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God with the purpose of Christ and living to our full potential.
So I continue to ask for your prayers as I dive into this topic, I ask you for the protection of my own heart, as I am exposing these things, and as I’m exploring these things, I’m experiencing shameful things. I’m experiencing heartrending shame and I’m seeing the awful power and presence of shame but I’m also seeing how to overcome it on multiple levels and I love it. I love it! It’s worth it all, but I would love your prayers for grace to go through it as I bring this out and then eventually I’m looking for it to be super impactful for those that I love, for those that I walk with, and for those I support. So I love you, I bless you, I thank you for listening. I thank you for responding. I thank you for your interest and I praise God that I’m on this path because I’m looking to issue a death blow to such tragedy of living under the thumb of shame and allowing it to define my life and my person. I never want to be the case. So God bless you, I love you, I appreciate you, and I will be back soon.
The Negative and Positive of the Shame Life – Episode #869 – DivineDesignedLifePodcast.com
Reflecting on how the shame life infiltrates every aspect of our lives, from our appearance to our spirituality as a motivating force.