Episode #462 – When the Work is God

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When the Work is God
Episode #462
October 11, 2015

With Martha Kilpatrick and hosted by John Enslow
Special Guest: Carole Nelson

This is the continuation of a series of Podcasts started in Episode #459.

(Martha) And Carole, you talk about when you do, and you work very hard, very, you’re always working hard. But you rejoice in it, because you say it’s the grace of God. Tell me about the grace of God.
(Carole) Well, I’m just a dumb, stupid sheep too, so. The grace of God is somehow… I know that when He’s called me to do something and that grace takes over, there is a… It’s easy, and there’s a delight in it. There’s a, there’s not a resistance to it. It’s, I’m not saying it’s not hard at times. I’m not saying that, but there is a… And there is a joy, the outcome is a joy even in realizing that He did do in and through you that job, that task, that whatever. There is. Even in the writing, when you look back and you go, “Oh, my goodness, He wrote that, and I know He wrote it, because I struggled like you would not believe to do it,” and then when it was done you look back and go, “Wow, He really did that.”
(Martha) And that, you’re making it clear that you don’t always experience well, “This is Jesus doing the work.” No, you ask Him to do it or He comes to do it, and you’re just in the flow. True, your satisfaction comes knowing He has done it and knowing it’s blessed and divine.
(J) The cool thing about being in that momentary will, is that you feel clean, and there’s a joy in it. There is a, there’s… What, Carole?
(Carole) There is a … I know what it is to resist a thing. I’m really, the feeling of it. For me there is a non-resistance. It is a flow. It’s like a river flowing.
(Martha) Well, what you’re saying, John, is, I understand it exactly what you’re saying. When you are living for one step at the time, one word at the time, one direction at the time, you’re not carrying the whole load. I’ve read that if you sit and fret about work and imagine yourself doing all this work, your body registers that you’ve done it, and your brain gets exhausted, because you have done it in your head. And you’re saying it’s so simple and easy because you’re not carrying the whole world of your responsibility when you’re doing it.
(J) The actual work could be exhausting, but there’s a cleaness to it, and there is a joy. It’s all I can say. There’s just a cleaness and a joy. It feels fresh. And I don’t know. When you’re in the center of His momentary will to, and listening, you just, you don’t feel sullied by… There’s something filthy; there’s just something filthy when you’re doing it on your own. And you feel guilty.
(Martha) There’s no joy because it’s flesh. Flesh is death.
(J) Flesh makes you feel… Absolutely.
(Martha) Flesh is just pure filthy.
(J) It’s filthy.
(Martha) Because it’s self.
(J) Yeah, and there’s a guilt to it. You feel guilty. You feel condemned, because you are, but there’s a feeling of it, and you’re angry and you’re just gutting it out. At least that’s my experience.
(M) It’s mine too. And Paul tells the Corinthians about it, because the Corinthians, you know, were carnal Christians. And he said if you build your work on wood, hay and stubble, it will burn up. It’ll be worthless, and that wood, hay and stubble is the uselessness and futility of the flesh. But if you build on Christ, he said, it will be eternal. So I don’t want to waste my time on wood, hay and stubble. I have built enough on wood, hay and stubble.
(J) Well then, and then the response to that is when God says it’s just wood, hay and stubble, then you get really angry like Cain. You like, “Listen, I have offered You, I’ve just given You all that work and I’m exhausted.” And you get angry with Him. That’s another sign you can know that you’re doing it in your own flesh.
(Martha) That’s right.
(J) If you’re angry at God.
(Martha) Wow.
(J) It’s probably because you’re not listening.
(Martha) I’m angry at the work. I don’t always know I’m angry with God, but I’m angry at the work. “You have given me so much to do.”
(J) Yeah, and it’s a burden. It’s a heavy burden.
(Martha) Heavy, heavy, impossible for sheep.
(J) Impossible.
(Martha) That’s why we can’t carry the whole load. We can only carry one step.
(J) Exactly. And so if I’m angry, and I’m frustrated, I pretty much know. I’ve stepped away from listening and being obedient, and I’m just, I’m just gritting it out.
(Carole) Then you can’t hear Him. You cannot hear Him in that state.
(J) No, it’s almost like being in hysterics. You’re in a frenzy. That’s my experience, you know? I mean, I’m just stating this as not a… The other dirty, dirty people that do this. I’m saying this is what it is when I’m doing it, when I step away from the obedience and the joy and the freshness, and I get into the working of my own plan, and my own strength, and my own will, then I’m angry. I’m mad.
(Martha) I, when I feel that, when I experience that, I’m angry with me, not realizing I’m angry with God. I’m resisting what He has given me, but I’m angry at me that I cannot conquer it.
(J) Yeah, statements like, “You’re so stupid,” will come up. “Oh, you’re so stupid. Why couldn’t you do that? Why this and why that?” You start judging yourself. You start beating yourself up.
(Martha) While the enemy’s beating you up.
(J) Yeah
(Martha) He loves it when you get in the flesh, because he will either flatter you or condemn you.
(J) Well, here you go with it. If you’re listening to yourself, and if I’m only a receptor, and I’m not, “My thoughts are not…” I’m not the originator of any thought, so I’m condemning myself and saying, “You’re so stupid, and you’re this and this,” guess what? You’re entire enterprise that you’re you know, undertaking is Satan, and he’s condemning you through you.
(Martha) Umhmm. And you can hear that because it’s on the flesh.
(J) Oooo. Golly, that’s just… I mean, I don’t know. If that doesn’t prick some hearts, I don’t know what will.
(Martha) Everything that we are called to be or do is so incredibly simple, if we would just reduce it to it’s simplicity. “Those who are led of the Spirit, are the sons and God.” A world of wisdom and freedom is in that. If you’re hearing God, and if you are obeying Him, you are being led of the Spirit, and then you’re in connection. You’re a son in connection to the family of God and all of His power and His goodness and His energy and His wisdom is flowing through you, because you’re following the Spirit. Sparks goes so far as to say, “If you’re not led of the Spirit, you’re not in Sonship.” And of course it’s true.
(J) How could you be in Sonship if you’re not listening to the Father? If you’re… You’re a son because you’re listening to the Father.
(Carole) But you know what? It’s the consequences of not listening, it is the consequences that are ultimately a blessing from Him that drive me to solution, which is Him and listening to Him.
(Martha) Wonderful point. If we’ll if we will be driven to Him. If we’ll let ourselves be driven to Him. My capacity to keep going is there in my old man.
(Carole) But, you know what? There is a place where that is where this Body comes in, to me. Because I can go, I can get, start going off on a tangent, and the Body will see that, identify that, and He, through the Body, because I know it’s the Lord through the Body, will draw me back to Himself, and back to the reality of where I need to be.
(Martha) Yeah, you do it for me. Yeah.
(Carole) And you do it for me.
(Martha) Oh. How lovely. I didn’t realize that.
You know, following that revelation and being free about work, there was another revelation that or another really movement of the Spirit in me. It was like He, the Holy Spirit disconnected… Being disconnected from the work, ’cause it’s work I was on, not people. I didn’t consider people a burden. I considered that I wasn’t caring enough for people, so it wasn’t people who were bothering me. It was the work load. But when I got past, when I came into the simplicity of just obedience plus nothing, plus no other movement, it’s like I was disconnected from worldliness and from… I was disconnected from people in a healthy sense. It was God and me alone. It was He and I, and then I had a great revelation for you in that condition, Carole, because I saw clearly something you needed. So, I was more able to minister to you in that state of just God and me. I was wide open to Him without any encumbrance of everything else. So, He could give me light and insight that was, hit the nail on the head. Didn’t it?
(Carole) Umhmmm and set me free.
(Martha) And set you free. And I didn’t, I would not have seen it. I don’t believe I would have seen it as clearly or been able to convey it as clearly if I hadn’t been sort of disconnected from all the other burdens I was choosing to carry that were presumption and flesh. “I can do it. I must do it.” It wasn’t that I can do it; it was that I must do it. But, and I wrote about it. I’ll have to go back and see if I can recapture some of the words, but it was absolute freedom. I’ll say it was freedom from people. It was freedom from everybody, but it was a connection with them in Christ. I was out of it, and it was Christ in the person that was connected. It was miraculous and wonderful. I have prayed and prayed ’cause Brother Lawrence talks about that. He was in a bubble where it was just he and Lord, and that seemed to me a bit isolated from people, but it’s not. It’s not. It’s living in Him, and He has the eye on who He has the eye on. So it’s really miraculous and wonderful. I want to live there always.

When the Work is God – Episode #462 – Shulamite Podcast