Episode #408 – The Great I AM

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The Great I AM
September 28, 2014
Episode #408

With Martha Kilpatrick and hosted by John Enslow
Special guests: Aaron, and Carole Nelson

(J)  I want the great I AM to have His seal on my life by my “So be it.”  And I think that we through our resistance, we can thwart the plan and the benefit for us.  “You are eternity.  You are the beginning.  You are the end.  You are everything that has anything to do with me.  You are I AM.”  I am not.  It’s like, it’s like he says, “No, I’m God and I’m determining my life.”  (God) “No, I AM.” It comes back and then you say, “So be it.  You are!”  “I AM the Bread of Life.  I AM the Light of the world.  I AM the Door of the sheep.  I AM the Good Shepherd.  I AM the Resurrection and the Life.  I AM the Way, the Truth, the Life.  I AM the True Vine.” And somehow my “So be it” says not only yes to me and my story, but yes to everything You are.  If you will refuse to say yes to your own story and His own forming of you…  You say yes to everything that He is, but if I say yes to my own story and His Lordship and His sovereignty in my life, then you get all of that.  He is the great I AM.  But there’s a door.  Maybe the door, maybe the door is literally my “So be it” is literally the opening of…
(Aaron)  Somehow my yes to my story, my yes to His story, Who He is, His story opens up the Father’s yes to His story to be a yes in my story?  If everything is yes in Christ, it’s the Father’s yes to Christ; all the promises.  And the New Testament church, to me, so lived in the yes of those promises.  In a way it’s the age of yes to promise.  It’s the age of promise.  So my yes, like John has described better than I could, to my story, to be a yes to His Son’s story opens up the Father’s yes to flow back through into my life and my story?
(M)  I think so.
(J)  Ok.  So, the Lord said, “I have surely seen the affliction of my people who are in Egypt.  I have heard their cry because of their taskmaster and oppress…  I’ve known their sorry and their suffering and their trials.”  And to that He answered, “I AM.”  Just below that after He says I’ve seen it all.  I know their pain, but I AM who I AM and what I AM and will be.  What I will be, He said.  “I AM has sent Me to you.”  Their oppression, their pain, their oppressors, their taskmasters, their sorrow, their suffering, their trials were real.  But He was sending Moses to be the spokesman’s say, “I AM. I see it.”  And He’s brought you into my life and say, “I see your pain.  I do, but I AM.”  And I said, “So be it.”  And that’s when it unlocked it; released it.  Does that…
(M)  Do you know what actually I AM is?  I Exist.  See, that’s what we don’t know.  In the Psalms over and over again it says, “They do not know that I am God.”  And to the evil it’s they do not set God before their eyes.  It’s always the negation that God really exists.  And so, I AM says, Yahweh means I Exist.  God as God exists.  That’s the end of the matter.  I don’t know how to say it.  Do you get it?  I AM, He is, but it’s I Exist.  “You and your suffering think I don’t exist.”  That’s what you think.
(J)  That’s it.
(M)  “When you’re suffering you think I don’t see it and I’m not the Author of it, and you don’t know that I really exist.”
(J)  That’s it.  Very good.  That’s it.  That’s it.
(M)  And He is Self-Existent.  That’s also part of it. He’s Self-Existent in Himself.  He is.
(J)  But see, if I’m god and I’m the master of my own destiny and all my suffering and pain, I have to self-resolve it.  And God’s saying, “I exist.  I AM the One.”  Does our no to our life affirm the lie that He doesn’t exist?  Is that it?
(M) “I know” says I do not believe You exist.  The word existence in this is so crucial to, so crucial to understand.  So there’s really what I always say I did this and it was suffering.  “I did this so you would know that I am God, and there’s no other; that I Exist. I Exist.”  We have to know that God IS.  Everything is answered by that.  Every mystery is solved.  You may not understand remotely, like you said.  God doesn’t owe me an explanation.  All I need to know, and I wrote that in “All and Only,” I think.  He doesn’t explain.  He says, “I’m God.”  That’s what He did with Habakkuk, Jacob, everybody.  The answer to every dilemma is He’s God, and God exists.  He really, really is God.  That’s the thing we don’t know.  We don’t know that we don’t know that, because mentally we can ascent that there is a God.  Scientifically you look at it and I can believe it because it has to be.  But, but we do not know He is God.  We believe that the evil person is god.  I believed it.  I believed it fully.  Every evil person I believed was god, so they could ravage me because they were god.  And all of that for the purpose for me to come to the end of it and say, “I don’t need to resist you.  You’re not god.  I’m not god.  I’m not god.  God’s God.  I don’t have to worry about this.  I’m not god.  I can’t do anything about evil, because I’m not god.  He’s God.  And that’s how you come to know Him.  You only come to know He is God by the fire of all the ones who claimed they are god in your house, in your neighborhood, in your church, in your nation.  The sin of Adam is to think he was god, and we don’t know that’s what sin is.  But when you’re done believing that every power that exerts itself is god, then you don’t have to resist.  You can’t resist, because God is in everything and all over everything.
(J)  We just think that if there’s pain, if there’s any kind of suffering or there’s any kind of pain or any kind of trial, that it’s not God.  This hurts; it couldn’t be God.  How could a good God do that?  Exactly.  Why would He allow this?  I mean how many times have we heard that?
(M)  See, it takes a long time to get the fact that what is done to me is not the issue.  It’s how I respond to it that is…  My suffering…  It’s like, ok, I’ll just be really, really blunt.  If I am suffering at the hands of someone, it’s my problem.  It’s my self-inflicted suffering.  And you know what else it is?  My suffering is my pride, and my resistance, the size of my resistance is the size of my pride.  And pride is, “I think I’m god and He’s not because He’s not on the job.  I’ll get on the job.”  That’s what effort is.  That’s why its blasphemy.  If I have an effort to fix something and I can do it in my head in a Yankee second, and it’s even in my mind.  It’s saying, “You don’t exist.  I’ve go to fix this.”
(Aaron)  Oh, wow.
(M)  And I don’t.  I have, all of life is about discovering, not by revelation, but through suffering, through all kinds of manifestations of suffering, my discovery that after all He is God.  What do you know?  He is God, and I’m not.  And that is, that’s the yes.  “Yes, You’re God.”  And He’s willing to prove it to us, that He is God.  He’s willing to prove it.  He’ll put us in the fire like He did Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, and we come out of it, and we finally can realize that He was in the fire.  He started the fire, and He’s victory over the fire, because He’s God.  He’s God.  That is the one discovery of life that causes you; really, that’s what causes you to surrender and give up and say yes.  ‘Cause He is willing to stoop so low as to prove to us that He is God.  He proved to you that He loved you.  He proves to you He says yes.  That’s what He does.  He’s that willing to come down in this place where we forsake Him and prove that He is the yes to you.
(Carole)  I keep going back to what you started last night, which was how do we constantly walk in the Spirit?  And I’m seeing through everything and hearing through everything that’s been said and wondering, because God makes it simple.  We make it difficult.  I make it, everything difficult.  He makes it simple.  How simple is it to say yes? Is yes the way to walk in the Spirit without going back to the old nature?  And the word, set; I go back again to Psalm 91, “because he has set his love upon Me, I will deliver him.  I will set him on high because he knows my Name.  I will be with him in trouble.  When he calls upon me I will answer him.  I will deliver him.  I will satisfy him with long life and I will show him my salvation.”  Is that accomplished by saying yes?  The Word says, “You love me if you obey Me.”  What does that mean?  I’m just questioning.  Is the obedience just yes?  Is the loving Him just yes?  I’m just asking myself these questions.  I doubt my love for Him constantly, but is my love fulfilled to Him by saying yes?

The Great I AM – Episode #408 – Shulamite Podcast