Discipline Is Fierce Love
With Martha Kilpatrick and hosted by John Enslow
Special guests: Julie and Don Nelson
(M) But the issue with these two who are testifying, Jennifer and Julie, and those of the rest of us in the room, were willing to stand in that light. Jennifer did a lot of work on her face. She got on her face before God and, and He met her beautifully, transformingly, perfectly. And, but they went to the light instead of to hurt feelings. And they did the work; they took responsibility to seek God for that discipline. And that was wonderful.
(Julie) And I just want to emphasize along with that that it was the work, at least for me and I know for Jennifer too, it is the work on your face alone that brings the change. A lot of times in Body life, you’ll get the initial word, or the initial light from God that there’s something wrong with you, but if you’re never willing to go alone with Him and do that private work and asking Him to show you… You don’t have to know how to do it, I mean my prayer most of the time was just God show me, show me if this is true, show me how this is true, show me where this is true in my life, and He was so incredibly faithful. And I know Martha told me, I only know this because Martha told me, that if I hadn’t done that private work, then what I had received through the Body would have ultimately not become fruitful.
(J) Because all real relationship and all real ah, dealings happen out of the Body, and then it’s brought to the Body to share. And that’s what encourages and builds up the Body, is because it’s your personal experience with Christ by yourself, with Him alone, and then you bring it in, and it’s like, it’s like all the members of the Body are put together in the Body meeting and Christ is revealed. But He has been revealing Himself individually to you. And ah, that’s what solitude is so key about is that you’re not, if you don’t go and have those singular moments with Him, by Himself, you and He, then you are thwarting Him in the Body.
(Don) Isn’t there a distinct difference between ah, solitude and isolation? Solitude as I listen is one, it’s a choice for that accountability and responsibility, but a lot of times it’s a command.
(Don) I mean there have been times that Martha has told me go get on my face. Now it is my choice to decide whether I do that or not. I think isolation is of the world.
(Don) And the world either imposes isolation or what compliments where Satan is going is that we make the choice to be in isolation, which separates us from God, and separates us from the solitude which is the godly aspect of what He desires.
(M) I believe deeply that the weakness of the church, the infiltration of the church, of the world, and the devil is due to the failure to make disciples by discipline. And all along the way while the we have lots of correction. We’ve had a wonderful journey, Julie and I have, and all of us have. So it’s not one long unending whip. But the Lord called me to this early on. But I want to read a scripture that I discovered, and He brings it back to me every now and then because we don’t understand that to help each other to accountability… And you help me too. You, you call me to be me. But this is the scripture He’s given me a number of times. It’s in Proverbs 24:24, “He who says to the wicked, you are righteous, people’s will curse him and nations will abhor him. But to those who rebuke the wicked, will be delight, and a good blessing will come upon them. He kisses the lips, who gives an honest answer.” So there’s a blessing for confronting the wicked. There’s a delight, a joy in life from confrontation that we miss if we don’t assume… See part of the accountability is to assume responsibility for your accountability. That’s part of my responsibility, God given before Him. I will answer for your soul. There will be those in the Body of Christ who watch for your soul. In Hebrews I think it says, don’t make it a burden for them. There is that responsibility He’s given me to brood and watch His face and for your souls. And I have to give an account. I do that in obedience to Him for your sake.
(Julie) I just want to say I would be totally amiss if I didn’t acknowledge and appreciate how much love there was the whole entire time. And I think what I’m realizing, what I realized that day driving back from the airport, it’s almost like a real turning point, like I went this long, long, long ways seeing it, seeing it as discipline, and at times hard. But it’s like it’s turned now to where I’m seeing it increasingly, and increasingly and increasingly as such incredibly perfect love. And I really think the whole heart and life of my worship comes from that, if that makes sense. It is… I, I love the Lord for accountability. He brought me into me. He brought me into my life. I didn’t know that and I fought Him, probably kicking and screaming a lot of the way, but He knew where He was going. And I’m so grateful that He was steadfast and that’s what blew up that day for me driving back from the airport is the awe of Him in realizing it wasn’t just me He was delivering. He was delivering future generations, and His purposes were so much bigger than I would ever have been able to dream when it was dealing with the little immediate issue. So it’s just that that is my foundation for trusting Him and worshiping Him and loving Him now.
(M) If I can say this, Julie. From the beginning I told you this, and it’s still true. How many years have we been together now? (Julie answers in background.) Ten years. From the beginning I had such trouble with His correction of you unending. I didn’t want to do that. And I would go to Him and He would let me know the time was short. He had a purpose for you in this life, and that He was fiercely, adamantly in love with you. And that His desire for you was like a fire that burned up everything in you, so that He could, He could make His purpose in you. So it took a lot of obedience and dying for me to take that place. But I was sustained because I could see way above what you couldn’t see. I could see above it, His motive. And His motive was not just Christ’s love; it was an enormous force, that as, as I think Barth says, “The Kingdom of God invades the earth.” Is that what he says? “Attacks the earth.” Well, the King was attacking you with this great purpose, which we’re beginning to see come forth in you. But it was a fierce love that desired you so ferociously. And I could not; I could not withhold that from you. The discipline was nothing compared to the size of His love; and His, His desire, and His urgency. There was an urgency about your life that I’ve rarely experienced. Sometimes I can wait and watch for years. But I didn’t have that luxury with you. And I could not deny you coming to that destiny, and to the pleasure of His love to have you. So that’s… See I saw something way above, like a parent sees. I saw the motive. And I could tell you, but it, it didn’t mean anything to you particularly; it wasn’t real to you I don’t think. But I was compelled by the love of Christ. That’s exactly what it was. So, how wonderful is His chastening. It’s life saving. And, and I certainly don’t discipline anybody anymore than He disciplines me. I can do it because I am a disciplined disciple.
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